Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Right to Sever Arms

Last week, the British government outlawed the sale of samurai swords in a move that demonstrated the very same brand of despotism that led our own great nation to break away from the crown. The United Kingdom's Home Office made the move in response to a wave of recent crimes involving the weapons, including the murder of a member of parliament and a violent rampage that injured 11 in front of a Catholic church.
This should prove a very import point about gun control. A country that already outlawed most guns now has a sword epidemic. When will governments learn that they can't legislate away craziness. Samurai swords don't kill people, people with samurai swords do - very quietly.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Happy Repeal Day!

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.”
- Dean Martin

Cheers to 74 years of legal enjoyment.

Sunday, December 02, 2007


Friend: "It was bound to happen"

2 December, 2007 (Muncie, IN): One teen is a dead and a man is injured after a head-on collision early Sunday morning. Tiffany Geere (pictured) was found dead on the scene; the driver of the other vehicle was hospitalized and is listed in good condition. Police believe that Geere swerved her vehicle into oncoming traffic after becoming preoccupied with her iPhone.
The recovered iPhone reveals that Geere, 17, is the latest teen to fall victim to widely publicized, much hyped, teen-killing phenomena. The victim's web history indicates that Geere was using her iPhone to upload her address and social security number onto her MySpace site at the time of the collision. Text messages sent just minutes before the accident, presumably while the victim was driving, have led police to believe that Geere was on the way to meet a local sex offender. Additionally, a toxicology report found evidence of a plethora of prescription drugs and narcotics in the victim's system including, but not limited to, qualudes, oxycodone, ecstasy, vicodin, and "cheese", the latest teen drug sensation concocted from heroin and Tylenol PM.
Authorities believe Geere was wearing her seatbelt.
The apparent multiple causes of the accident were especially shocking to the victim's father, local TV anchorman Brian Geere. Geere is best known for his Local Emmy Award winning weekly segment "What's Killing Our Children," which has shed light on dangerous teen behaviors ranging from texting while driving to prescription drug abuse.