Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Wait 'Till Next Year

From the Sports Desk

an editorial

It's been a rough couple of days here at the OrGiveMeDeath compound. What happened? We were so close to brining back the good times when the Cowboys were in the Super Bowl and life made sense. Now I'm not sure what to think. It's easy to point fingers and pass the blame around, so I'm going start by placing most of the blame on offensive line coach Tony Sparano. Anyone who watched Sunday's game could see that the offensive line didn't show up, they might as well have patted the Giants' linemen on the ass on their way to take out Romo. This has everything to do with Sparano's widely reported plans to coach the Dolphins next season. I lost count of how many times Dallas was flagged for false starts, an obvious sign of no discipline. That's what happens when you have a line coach who's already cleaned out his desk and is dreaming of palm trees, sea mammals and the train wreck of a supposed "professional football" team. Bill Parcels has had his revenge.
Many will be quick to blame Romo. With two straight blown final plays in the playoffs it's easy to become a Romo-phobe, but I say give him time, not every undrafted QB can take the Dallas Cowboys to the playoffs in his first two years as a starter. I know TO agrees with me, his tearful performance at the post-game press conference had me hugging the TV and sobbing with him. Romo may have seemed to fall apart towards the end, but the play calling by the boy-genius Jason Garrett in the last two minutes seemed panicky and someone needs to teach Patrick Crayton how to catch. At least Jessica Simpson wasn't there. The biased, east coast, anti-Texas, liberal media tried their best to rattle Romo by making Simpson an issue. They've lowered themselves to name calling, labeling Simpson "Yoko Romo" and Romo "Tony Romeo" (although I personally think "Romosexual" would be funnier). They even went as far as sending a look alike to the game to distract Romo. Despite the loss, I doubt any of this really affected the game, although a case could be made that many things become irrelevant once you've gone to Cancun with Jessica Simpson.
Finally, a word to Brett Favre: Please destroy the Giants. I know I give you a hard time and point out your overrated career every chance I get, but I don't think I could stomach a Boston-New York Super Bowl (although I'm picking the Chargers).

In other news

The Houston Chronicle is reporting that Texas state representative Boris Miles (D-Houston) allegedly brandished a pistol at a recent party and started all kinds of trouble. David Harris, a rival of Miles, alleges that Miles showed up at a hotel ballroom uninvited and began to harass guests while displaying a gun. Harris claims that Miles threatened to "take him down" and told him that there "wasn't room in town for the two of them." (Houston population: 2.14 million) Miles then proclaimed himself to be a "gangster" and a "thug" and proceeded to give Harris a Bugs Bunny-esque kiss on the lips. Before leaving the party, witness and Harris claim that Miles forcibly kissed Harris' wife.
This event comes just months after Rep. Miles shot and wounded a man he claims was stealing copper wire from his home, he was not charged in the incident.
My question: is Miles hiring? Where do I email my resume? I would be a great capitol staffer/thug. As a policy wonk and a journey-level gangster I can analyze policy, shine shoes, and extort protection money out of shopkeeps, whatever it takes; plus I can provide my own gun and fedora. This could be the break I need to make it in politics/crime. Think about it Boris.

No comments: